Arden will be 3 on March 13th and he shares a birthday with my brother Steven.  I was thinking about sharing a cool testimony of how the Lord touched me with this new baby that’s in my womb. However, I thought I would first start with the testimony of my pregnancy with Arden…my passionate, zealous, fully devoted, strengthened by God, little man.  

I didn’t realize my wrong mindset of children until I found out that I was pregnant with him.  In fact, I remember thinking that I could have gone another 5-10 years and been happy with it just being Richee and I.  I was terrified.  The focus was on me and all of the things that I would have to let go of with having a child.  

One of the major turning points in my life when it came to having children and being a mom, was one night when Richee and I spent time with some close friends of ours. I was more than 4 months along and having a hard time allowing myself to accept the fact that I was pregnant. It was just the beginning of letting Arden in.  I was in the kitchen with my friend while the guys were in the other room.  We were talking about the issues of my heart and in the midst of it Arden came up, and how I hadn’t even sought to talk or connect with him in my womb.  In the back of my mind he didn’t seem real to me.  My friend said, “Tell him you love him.”  Even though everything in me was torn and almost frustrated at the fact that I was pregnant (viewing it as an inconvenience), I barely got the words out and I hit the floor weeping.  My friend was right there by my side weeping with me.  That moment began a healing in my heart and a turning of my perspective when it came to having children and being a mom.  

Having Arden in my life has touched and changed everything.  It’s brought forth the worst and the best in me.  I love him!!!  My heart is still healing and my perspectives are still shifting, but oh how I love him.  With this next little one, I know this process will continue and I’m a little scared, but thankful.  For now, I’m cherishing every moment with my little Arden and having fun sharing this excitement of a little brother or sister with him.  I’m thankful for this journey of life and how the Lord brought two crazy redheads into my world.  It’s been the mercy of the Lord on my heart, bringing me forth as one who is becoming fully His.  What a journey.